Thursday, May 6, 2010

Integrity, Despair, and Purpose.

In the 20th century, the well known psychologist Erik Erikson developed a theory involving eight different psychosocial stages of development. He claimed that these stages occur throughout a lifespan, are universal, and each unique stage occurs at a specific period in everyone's life. The video of Johnny's rendition of "hurt" reminds me of one of Erikson's stages in particular.

The last stage an individual goes through is that of Integrity vs. Despair. This stage occurs in old age as one is approaching the end of their time on earth. Erikson theorizes that at the end of their life, human beings tend to look back on what their life was and what it became. In this, they either feel a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment over a life well lived or the despair of a life that was wasted. Although the song "Hurt" was not originally written by Johnny Cash; his rendition of it, coupled with the potent cinematography, illustrates this ending stage of psychosocial development beautifully.

Another fitting example of this stage was expressed thousands of years before Johnny Cash or Erikson and his theory came into existence. The book of Ecclesiastes consists of the writings of a man who is also looking at what his own life has been, and reaches despair in the conclusion that everything has been meaningless.

"All things are wearisome, more than one can say. The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing." Ecclesiastes 1:8

"Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun." Ecclesiastes 2:11

I wonder if Johnny Cash, or the writer of the song "Hurt", could relate to the book of Ecclesiastes. I think they probably could have. As I watched the video above, it struck a cord in me and left me with several deep and probing questions. When I look back on my life, how do I want to feel about what it became? What do I want to have devoted it to? Is my life really about me, or is it about something greater? How do I find meaning in life? The writer of Ecclesiastes ends his book with this;

"Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole [duty] of man." - Ecclesiastes 12:13

The writer has the advantage of experience. In spite of everything he had obtained on earth, he knew what it meant to feel as though his whole existence had been absolutely worthless, to feel as if his life had been void of meaning. Yet at the ending of this book, after wrestling with the foolishness of living life for oneself, he arrives at a life changing conclusion. We were made for a purpose far different and more significant then anything the world tells us is valuable and worthwhile. We yearn for and desire more because we are in desperate need to live the life we were called to. However, we so often confuse this longing with a need for the made, not the Maker.To fear God and keep His commandments is the WHOLE DUTY OF MAN! You want the meaning of life?...There it is. Life will only be lived to its fullest when we are dwelling in obedience to and walking in relationship with our Creator. This is what we were made for.

"For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." - 2 Corinthians 4:18

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Humble Service


Authentic service to others is one of the greatest examples of humility. A servant will be trampled on, will be taken advantage of, will be overlooked. I struggle with this because every ounce of my flesh wants to fight against being someones "doormat". I have found myself becoming angry and bitter because in my ignorant and immature way of thinking - people should be recognizing my selflessness; and not only that, they should be striving to serve me as well.

However, just as I am mulling over how mistreated I am and becoming more and more bitter over what others should be doing differently and what they should be recognizing in me; I realize that I am struggling with a sin that is a poison to the very heart of service God is trying to cultivate within me. Pride.

The moment I allow anger to arise within me because I feel that I am entitled to something more, I have become proud and selfish. At that point, my heart is no longer a heart of service; it is a selfish and wicked heart that uses the veil of service for recognition and appreciation. It is a heart that is self seeking and is providing service upon condition. I am fooling myself if i continue to think that I am acting out of love for others.

Service and humility are completely entwined. Being a servant requires that I be satisfied in being overlooked, and trampled on. Not only that I be satisfied, but that I consider it a blessing. I need to work on my humility because serving others is impossible if humility is not also present.

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
Ephesians 4:1-3